Beating the Impostor Syndrome

How to overcome the impostor syndrome: Taking control of your inner dialogue.

This month’s topic hits close to home for a lot of us, myself included. Taking control of your inner dialogue. It sounds so easy to do, but in reality it is incredibly difficult. Our inner dialogue, our conscience, that voice in our head that is narrating our life. Where does it come from? How was it formed? But more importantly, can we change it?

Our inner dialogue comes from the environment we grew up in. Our situation growing up, is something that we couldn’t change. Where we were born, to the family we were born into. Some of us had a great childhood, while others struggled.

Whatever our situation, that shaped who you or I would become. It also shaped our inner dialogues.

Individually, you started to repeat the things that you heard around you. If you grew up in a loving home, you heard things like, “Great job!” “You are so smart/beautiful/talented!” If your parents were more critical, you might have heard things like, “Why did you fail this test?” “How come you aren’t good at sports like your brother?” Unfortunately, at that young and impressionable age, if you hear something enough, you start to believe it. You start to say it to yourself. But that doesn’t make it true.

So how do you get these bad thoughts out of your brain? The short answers is, you can’t. Not completely. If something has been ingrained in you from a young and impressionable age, it will never truly go away. What you can do, is change the dialogue. You can’t ignore those thoughts completely, or else they will come back up like acid from your stomach. You have to acknowledge the thoughts and where they come from. If you don’t, they will scream even louder. What you need to do is focus on the positive. Yes, I was told this or that about myself, but look at all I’ve accomplished. I’m not any of those bad things I tell myself, I am smart, and confident. This can take years to achieve and is made easier with the help of a mental health professional, life coach, or religious leader. But please be patient with yourself and take each day as it comes.

Regarding the imposter syndrome, which is related to that negative inner dialogue, and the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills (Webster, 2019). I’d like you to look inside yourself. Have you ever heard yourself say, “Oh, I can’t do that!” or “That’s too hard for me.” Often times, that’s just not true. But you’re so used to hearing things like that from your own inner dialogue that you end up believing it and saying it to others. So how do you stop those thoughts from creeping in and taking over? Start by doing some introspection. Before you say, “I can’t do that!” think about whether or not you really can do what is being asked of you. You might surprise yourself when you realize that you can do it and you do it based on your own ability and intelligence. The more you push yourself to do things that you normally wouldn’t have even tried, and the more you succeed at it, the less those thoughts will come into your mind. There is even joy in failure. Because at least you tried! Failure tends to give us our best life lessons.

Many of us turn to our religion in these trying times, and God will always be there to support you. He would want you to pick yourself up and try again, to never give up. But most importantly, God believes in the goodness of all of his people and would want you to see yourself in the beauty that he made you. So they next time you have negative thoughts and self doubt, just remember that God loves you, the way he made you. And you should too!

Jessica Faylor is a freelance writer who lives in California. She is available for freelance writing in most genre.

Time Well Spent

This month of June offers us so much in spirituality. On the second weekend, we recognize both Shavuot and Pentecost. Moments in the Torah and the Bible, where God extends his holy spirit to the world.

According to many scholars, the Jewish holy day of Shavuot has a dual importance. It signifies the very important wheat harvest in Israel (Exodus 34:22), and it celebrates the anniversary of the day when God gave the Torah to the nation of Israel on Mount Sinai. It occurs 50 days after Passover. The Torah represents God’s Spirit externally blanketing Israel to allow His words to move internally.

The Christian holy day of Pentecost, is recognized fifty days after Easter Sunday. It honors the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the Apostles and other followers of Jesus Christ, during the Jerusalem celebration of Feast of Weeks, as described in the Acts of the Apostles, Acts 2:1–31. This time around, God choose to work from the interior of his people, to move His spirit to the external, to touch the lives of all people.

“…the LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” ~ 1 Samuel 16:7

Though both celebrations are of equal importance, in the New Covenant, Pentecost is concerned with what is in our hearts. This is why God chose to place His Holy Spirit inside the committed disciples of Jesus Christ. He did this so that they could share the good news to all.

As women, we are up against so much. And, at times the chores, concerns, and circumstances of our days can strip us of the person God created us to be. This is why it is important to take time to simply talk with God. The empowerment we seek whether as boss, employee, business owner, daughter, wife, or friend is already written on our hearts. Let’s allow Jesus to guide us back to our Holy.

May June offer you precious and memorable moments with Our Father! And, may it be a joyous month for you.

Rev. Charlotte

February 10th, 2019: Visual Meditation

Meditating on HIS words: Joshua 1:8

February’s Theme: Love is Everywhere

siyach or hagah


John 14:21

He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him. (KJV)

Impressing God

Matthew 6: 1-4, 16-17

In the last year I have been exposed to several type of spiritual leaders. My work offers me this advantage. Some are just finding their way, while others are so experienced that preaching the gospel and building a strong organization is just like drinking water; it comes so easy. However, there are two types that I find fascinating. First, the one with a smaller congregation who lives to impress other pastors, and second, the one who lives truly to impress God. This is not to say that the first type of pastor is not in line with what the second type is most concerned with. What I am really discussing here is the notion of impressions.

In life, as women, we are faced with so much stuff. We must look and act a certain way, parent like what some may see as the ideal mom, be the best wife/partner ever…and so on. Yet, when we read the Sermon on the Mount, what Jesus held of the utmost importance were the acts of giving and how to make impressions. He was absolutely against stage shows, but was most concerned with our own intimate relationship with God.

Yes, God wants us to live comfortable lives. He wants us to take advantage of all the good he provides for us. However, not to show off, but instead, to humble ourselves as discussed in Luke 14:11. Attention should be craved only from God. It is not necessary to be carnally admired or always be noticed for what we do, how we give, what we drive, where we live…the only thing of importance to our God is what we have done to serve Him. As servant leaders, we must often remember that we work for the ultimate leader, our God! How wonderful to know that we are members of His staff. Our just reward is to always be applauded by Him! Even in the quietness of our efforts, we are very popular members of His team. No stage shows are ever necessary.

In this month dedicated to love, consider that when we love our Father first, everything else can surely fall into place.

With love,


New Year…Same Ole’ You or New You?

Every time we are offered a new year, this event provides most the opportunity to turn over a new leaf. The other side of this leaf may be to lose 20 pounds, to find real love, to start a new job, or simply to be better than the year before.

This week for the most special reason (it’s where God wanted me to be), I spent a great time reading through the book of Galatians. In verse 5, the Apostle Paul encourages us to walk by the Spirit. He didn’t just suggest that we do this, he took the time to explain what it means to be in a constant pace with God. To walk upright we must not practice:

immortality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, and carousing.

Wow! That’s a lot to consider, huh?

But I believe, offers us a friendly reminder of things we may have done in 2018 that perhaps we should avoid this year, 2019. Women captivating to God, follow his guidelines. We wait for the God-centered husband, and this husband ‘waits’ for us. So many of us today, do not think twice when it comes to physical sensuality before marriage. This group adhere to the behaviors of the outer world, and not that of the spiritual inner world, which is God’s temple. Consider this…If you had the opportunity to visit His temple for a day, would you do something in this sacred space that is not honorable to Him?

In his letter to the church of Galatia, the Apostle Paul laid out the foundation of how to live a noble life; one that is pleasing to God. Here as follows:

To inherit the kingdom of God we must know and practice the fruit of the Spirit which is love, joy, peace, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

When we love ourselves, we can be ready to eat healthy foods and exercise more to reach the New Year weight loss goals we set. Impure thoughts and actions can no longer be a part of who we are. We are modest in our dress, and restrain from sensuality with the people we date. We teach each other to love one another through the letting go of strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, envy, and perhaps supporting a friend in his or her quest toward sobriety.  We become joyful, gentle, and peaceful. Through self-control, we have faith that all challenges will pass. We become goodness in all areas of our lives.

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh rather, serve one another humbly in love.” – Galatians 5:13

So, as you continue your stride into 2019, reflect on the Apostle Paul’s words and try to incorporate them into every area of your life. I’ll always lift you up in prayer and ask that you do the same for me.

May Christ be with you, always.

Rev. Charlotte

Core Values of Captivating Women’s Ministry

Doctrinal Veracity: We embrace every person for the purpose of discovering a communal ground in the spiritual tenets and goals we all share. For this reason, we encourage the exploration of spiritual texts from the Bible, as the avenue to feminine wholeness.

Spiritual Vigor: We understand that some take different paths to knowing God; however, our path is through the love and appreciation of Jesus Christ. If this is not your path, we still welcome you to our circle.

Motivation: We do not exist to obtain knowledge only. In its place the epistemology acquired and relationships built in this forum, are far reaching to extend into our everyday communities. We consistently walk our talk as child, parent, wife, significant other, companion, neighbor, family member, friend, co-worker, acquaintance, and, as stranger.

Excellence: We excel as true authentic followers of  Jesus exemplifying all that is good. We are virtuous in all that we do. We respect and honor those with whom we are bonded to, and live a life which exudes the essences of  well-being, optimism, mutuality, appreciation, and nobility (WOMAN).

Servant Leadership: We follow the model of Divine Intelligence (DI) to apply guidance through the acts of fostering and authentically encouraging those around us. We give credit where credit is due, in the knowing that as we learn together, we thrive together.